Tiger Woods got a pass from the Oscars, according to the New York Post. Academy Awards execs killed jokes written for hosts Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin about the world's No. 1 golfer and his all too public personal life. The Tiger jokes were considered to be "too rude."
Did you hear the one about Tiger Woods and the sex-crazed elephant? Not if you watched the Academy Awards.
The Oscars killed the Tiger jokes written for hosts Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin. As a long-time defender of Mr. Woods, this column applauds the Academy's stand for good taste.
Besides, who needs him?
Last week provided non-Tiger material to fill 1,000 Barbara Walters Specials. Sitting across from her would be Gilbert Arenas, John Daly, the New York Knicks, the New York governor, the New York congressman for District 15, O.J. Simpson's suit and Barack Obama's liver.
Then there was the "lesbian feud" that nixed the Brady Bunch reunion. It was enough to make you want to take off your clothes and take a bath. Which brings us to our Quote of the Week.
"It doesn't feel sexual. It just feels tribal."
So said Art Rush, one of the 5,200 people who posed for a nude photo at the Sydney Opera House in Australia. Normally we'd segue right into a Tiger joke here. Our writers want to observe Hollywood protocol, however.
We're not sure who that left Martin and Baldwin to joke about, especially since one of the Transformers was seen texting Joslyn James. Well, there were always the Knicks, whose 20-point loss to New Jersey on Saturday was more unforgivable than anything Tiger ever did.
Which brings us to Quotes of the Week II and III:
"I knew nothing."
"These guys are throwing me under the bus like I knew what was going on with Tiger, and it pisses me off. In my old days I would just walk up to them and beat the hell out of them. But I'm trying to grow up and be mature and not fight all the time."
So said Tiger's caddy, Steve Williams, whose thoughts were expanded upon by Tiger flunkie Charles Barkley. Both said they were clueless to any improprieties, which automatically qualified them to run for Rep. Charlie Rangel's (D-Lobbyists' Hip Pocket) seat.
Now, the Academy decides we can't joke about Michael Vick, so here's what else happened last week:
The Oscars killed the Tiger jokes written for hosts Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin. As a long-time defender of Mr. Woods, this column applauds the Academy's stand for good taste.
Besides, who needs him?
Last week provided non-Tiger material to fill 1,000 Barbara Walters Specials. Sitting across from her would be Gilbert Arenas, John Daly, the New York Knicks, the New York governor, the New York congressman for District 15, O.J. Simpson's suit and Barack Obama's liver.
Then there was the "lesbian feud" that nixed the Brady Bunch reunion. It was enough to make you want to take off your clothes and take a bath. Which brings us to our Quote of the Week.
"It doesn't feel sexual. It just feels tribal."
So said Art Rush, one of the 5,200 people who posed for a nude photo at the Sydney Opera House in Australia. Normally we'd segue right into a Tiger joke here. Our writers want to observe Hollywood protocol, however.
We're not sure who that left Martin and Baldwin to joke about, especially since one of the Transformers was seen texting Joslyn James. Well, there were always the Knicks, whose 20-point loss to New Jersey on Saturday was more unforgivable than anything Tiger ever did.
Which brings us to Quotes of the Week II and III:
"I knew nothing."
"These guys are throwing me under the bus like I knew what was going on with Tiger, and it pisses me off. In my old days I would just walk up to them and beat the hell out of them. But I'm trying to grow up and be mature and not fight all the time."So said Tiger's caddy, Steve Williams, whose thoughts were expanded upon by Tiger flunkie Charles Barkley. Both said they were clueless to any improprieties, which automatically qualified them to run for Rep. Charlie Rangel's (D-Lobbyists' Hip Pocket) seat.
Now, the Academy decides we can't joke about Michael Vick, so here's what else happened last week:
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