TWR Gives You "The Apology" Transcript
Tiger Woods' Penis Is Angry!
Tiger’s Penis Issues Rebuttal
'He Does Not Speak For Me,' Says Furious Member
Meet Me @ The 19th Ho'
In TWR's spirited run for the Masters' nasty green jacket we bring you a short list of 19 ho's we would like to see Tiger admit that he's going to fucking, will fuck, or hopes to be fucked by in the future. Oh yeah and Tiger if you're reading these girls are HOT, not like the usual skanks you dig up at the laundromat.
19: Angelina Jolie
18: Shakira
17: Lady Gaga
16: Anna Kournikova
15: Carrie Underwood
14: Halle Berry13: Jessica Alba
12: Jenna Jameson
11: Jennifer Love-Hewitt
10: Charlize Theron
09: Uma Thurman
08: Cameron Diaz
07: Victoria Beckham
06: Paula Abdul
05: Katy Perry
04: Maria Sharapova
03: Megan Fox
02: Scarlett Johanssen
And the number one person TWR wants to see Tiger banging is...you guessed it:
01: Elin Nordigren
Tiger Woods's Press Conference.
If nothing else Tiger Woods has proven to the world that he can do the following things:
- Play golf like a pro.
- Delivery a consistent news buzz wherever he goes.
- Contrive an official press conference about his infidelity in his marraige against his wife Elin Nordigren by stacking it with friends, and family.
- Be a womanizer of the dirtiest kind.
We here at TWR find that Tiger is isn't embracing his new found image of him surrouned with champagne bottles and ho's as we would have hoped.
He repeatedly says that he's sorry he let us down. Really? Here at TWR we really don't care, and don't feel let down by his infidelity. In fact were it not for that fateful car crash and golf club chase that ensued thereafter TWR would probably be out of a job.
One TWR staffer said "I think he's a hero. Juggling 19 women over the course of 3 years all while paying hush money and grabbing onto the next set of jugs he could...yeah he's my hero..."
Another TWR writers said "We should make him a cape with 19 holes on it! Or 19 hoe's..."
Yup. We truly employ a classess bunch of nimrods.
Here's what we wish Tiger would have done with his Press Conference today:
Watch Tiger Woods Press Conference through Live Video Stream!
Tiger Woods Press Conference Live Stream Online: Tiger Woods will hold a press conference today (11:00 a.m. ET) looking to apologize for his affairs with several women and lies to the public. The highly anticipated event in Florida is also expected to finally end speculations on when the embattled golfer would return to the PGA circuit.
The first of golf’s four professional majors is The Masters which starts in April.
According to Mark Steinberg, Tiger’s agent, the billionaire athlete would speak only with, “…a small group of friends, colleagues, and close associates.” The 34-year-old is expected to address a handpicked crowd of 30-50 people and will not take questions from the press.
From the media, only the Associated Press, Reuters, Bloomberg News Service, and six members of the Golf Writers Association of America (GWAA) have accepted the invitation to attend.
The timing of Tiger’s statement today will take publicity away from the climax of the Accenture Match Play Championship. Last December Accenture, a consultancy and technology outsourcing company, decided to finally end its six-year sponsorship deal with the athlete.
Not having been seen in public until this week since his life turned upside down when a seemingly normal car accident brought to the open his adulterous behavior, few people know what he is going to say. So, gossip mongers and sports enthusiasts alike are eagerly awaiting this press conference.
Numerous reports have suggested that the world’s No. 1 golfer is at a sex addiction clinic in Mississippi, but neither Woods nor his agents have confirmed the reports.
Is there any chance that his wife, Elin Nordegren, shows up? We really don’t know, but a smiling Elin would make all the difference.
You can watch Tiger’s press conference live online via the Hulu stream below. YouTube will also be live streaming the event via its Citizen Tube page. You can also catch it on Ustream, via the company’s partner CBS News.
Read more: http://dailycontributor.com/live-video-watch-tiger-woods-press-conference-live-online-live-stream/11934/#ixzz0fzwkYvUt
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution Non-Commercial
Who's Tiger Sleeping with Now?
#7: Holly Sampson
#3: Kalika Moquin
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#5: Jamie Jungers - Yet another large breasted blonde
UPDATE: Jamie claims she and Tiger had sex the night his father died. Click here for more. (SCROLL DOWN FOR PICTURES) UPDATE: Jungers has appeared on the "Today" show as well as "Dateline NBC." She allegedlyworked as a stripper and is pitching vodka andan auction web site. She also has beenphotographed with Charles Barkley. UPDATE: Jungers speaks to the Sun, claiming she and Woods had "wild" and "crazy" sex. Click here for more. UPDATE, 4:10 PM: RadarOnline.com follows up with another report, alleging that Jungers has told a British newspaper that her affair with Woods lasted two years. RadarOnline.com reports that Jamie Jungers, a Las Vegas model, is the latest woman to allegedly have had an affair with Tiger Woods. A MySpace search for Jamie Jungers reveals a profile for a 26-year-old Las Vegas blonde with the same name. While it is not clear that the profile belongs to the woman who allegedly slept with Woods, the profile picture matches a photo at RadarOnline.com. Similarly, a Facebook search for Jamie Jungers also yields a profile whose photograph looks strikingly similar to the MySpace picture. See pictures below. LOOK: E! Online has posted additional photos. Here is a sample: Visit E! Online for more.
#6: Cori Rist
Image by Getty Images via Daylife
Now, it looks as though Cori Rist could be Tiger Woods' 5th alleged mistress. Rist was one of Woods' favorite traveling companions and, unlike some of the other women who have stepped forward so far, she's not denying a thing. In fact, she's not saying anything at all.
Keep abreast of the facts with our Tiger Woods Mistress Tracker
"No comment," said Rist, when confronted with the allegations.
Rist reportedly met Woods in 2008.
Follow the whole story here: Tiger Woods Affair
"They went to a party," says a source. "One thing led to another and, pretty soon, Tiger was flying her to hook up with him on tour."
"Tiger would typically get a large suite at a hotel. Someone would book Cori an adjacent room, so she wouldn't be seen coming into his room."
Rist, 31, enjoyed the tryst for a while.
"He would get the presidential suite," says the source. "It was the ultimate in luxury. The trouble is, he never wanted to leave the room."
"He didn't want to risk anyone seeing them together," the source adds. "After about six months of this, she started to get tired of being cooped up. She felt like a bird in a gilded cage."
How many more women are there that will come out of the woodwork?
Only Tiger knows for sure.

